I love love love the totem pole cactus (Lophocereus schottii forma monstrosus) and want one in my house; they were having a plant sale at the arboretum and I could have bought one for $60, but I didn't want to spend that much and I wouldn't have been able to carry it on the plane anyway.
The dead bird is a sad story, we went over to check out my aunt's house and while looking around outside my sister noticed this bird flapping. The poor thing was stuck in this awful cactus with the worst spines that I swear jump out and get you. I tried freeing it, but it was really stuck and died before I was able to get even his leg out. Poor little bird.